I am sure that when the cross is too hard to bear, my Beloved will send a soul to me to have a chat and a laugh.
When I was younger, I simply knew less.
I find myself looking back over my life and the experiences that I have had in my life and reflecting on the decisions that I have made in my younger years. It is not that I regret the decisions so much – I strongly believe that God would have directed the course of my life to where it needed to go regardless of what decisions I tried to make for myself.
So, it is not with regret or sadness that I reflect on my decisions, it is rather with the wisdom that comes from age and experience.
You see, the things that I decided to do when I was younger were things that I would not decide to do in the same way at my age now.
When I was only twenty years old, the things that concerned me are things that I would not find concerning at all at my current age – more than twenty years later. And I have been reflecting on what it means to have made the decisions that I made and how I would have potentially made the decisions differently, if I were to make them again today.
And that is a complicated thing to think about. After all, all the mistakes I have made in my journey have significantly impacted where I am today. I am stronger because of the stumbles and more grateful because of the trials. I reflect on truly difficult times of my life and can see the presence of God in those moments, which I could never see at the time.
I remember once – as a young mother – crying quietly in a shopping centre with my little babies with me (very sad about something). And I remember a woman – probably my age now – with her own children, stopping to speak to me. And she spoke about all the things that were troubling me. And she spoke of them harshly and with humour, as she had experienced them in her own life. And that day – in that shopping centre – the kindness of that woman sustained me. Her few moments of conversation helped me to get through the rest of my day and move into the next chapter of my life. And I have never forgotten about her. For it seems to me, that the Blessed Virgin sent her to talk to me that day, and give me some hope and humour…
And when I think about that today, I have that same feeling of hope. You see, no matter how difficult the journey or how cumbersome the stress, I am sure that when the cross is too hard to bear, my Beloved will send a soul to me to have a chat and a laugh – for perhaps even just a few short moments. And that will be what I need to get me through to the next stage…
And after all, that is the whole point – taking steps – one at a time – on the journey to Calvary, for it is there that I will be with my Beloved…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.
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