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Writer's pictureSarah Raad

Without

“God who created you without you, will not save you without you.” (Saint Augustine).

Christ Carrying the Cross (Giorgione)

Saint Augustine said, “God who created you without you, will not save you without you.”


And I have been reflecting on those words this day. You see, my soul (and body) was created without my consent. I had no bearing on the decision to enter into existence. God Himself thought me into existence from a million billion other possibilities. And God Himself decided that I would be alive in this time and this place. He decided on my parents and my siblings. He decided on my friends and relations. He decided on the colour of my eyes and the thickness of my hair.


And He did all of this before I was even conceived.


And yet, here I sit in this time and this place and I critique my God. I wonder about why one thing is like this and another is like that. I criticise my temperament and my behaviour. I complain about my body-shape and my condition. I even argue about my personality and my intelligence.


And it occurs to me today that every single time I criticise, critique or complain, I am really just rising up against the God who made me. And if He needed no encouragement to make me, who am I to dictate to Him my demands today? You see, I was created in this time and place to be of service to God’s great plan. And that means that I am called to trust in Him and submit to Him.


And I make such a big deal out of this trust that I place in my God. I act as though it is a big deal and something difficult and almost unnatural to me to trust in God. But, if I stop for a moment and examine the facts, it is clear that I have never and would never have control over my own life. My God created me without my knowledge or consent.

But I see that there is a true miracle. And the true miracle is that even though He could create me without me, He refuses to save me without me. Once I have come into existence, my Lord and my God respects me with all the infinite capacity of His Holy Will. And He respects me enough that He will not do this thing – draw me into His love – without my consent.


And I have been thinking about that today. Because I have been given a choice so that my Lord and my God will not rape and ravage me into subservience to imJHim. Instead, He created me in this time and this place because this is the optimal opportunity for me to chose to love Him with all the power of my frail little human heart.


And if I could just manage to chose that, then I would never have to worry about being left out of Heaven. After all, my Lord and my God will not save me without me. So I guess it all comes down to me at the end of the day…



For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.

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