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Writer's pictureSarah Raad

Wanting

“And He went up on the mountain, and called to Him those whom He desired; and they came to Him.” (Mark 3:13).

Christ Calling His First Disciples (Leicester)

It is a strange thing to think about the people who have strong faith and those who do not.


I have been reflecting on why it is that even in one family, one person can have unshakably strong faith and another – their sibling, who was raised in the same way and with the same parents and under the same circumstances – can completely lack even a small ounce of faith.


As I pray for those in my family (and those among the families of my friends) who lack faith, it occurred to me that a soul could spend a lot of time worrying about the lack of faith of those people form whom they have great love…


And then it occurred to me, that I really have nothing to fear…


You see, in the Gospel of Saint Mark at 3:13-19 we are told, “And He went up on the mountain, and called to Him those whom He desired; and they came to Him. And He appointed twelve, to be with Him, and to be sent out to preach and have authority to cast out demons: Simon whom He surnamed Peter; James the son of Zebedee and John the brother of James, whom He surnamed Boanerges, that is, sons of thunder; Andrew, and Philip, and Bartholomew, and Matthew, and Thomas, and James the son of Alphaeus, and Thaddaeus, and Simon the Cananaean, and Judas Iscariot, who betrayed Him.”


And I have been reflecting on that today. You see, Christ called to Him, “those He desired”, in other words, He called to Him, those He wanted…


And in calling those apostles to Himself, Christ was not loving the others any less, but instead, He wanted certain souls because it was those souls who would be of most use to Him in the goodness of His plan. And I have been thinking about that today when I think of those souls for whom I pray. You see, if God wanted their conversion today – right now – He would arrange it. For when He wanted the apostles (even Judas Iscariot who betrayed Him), He called them and they came.


And it occurs to me today that perhaps though I have been worried for THEIR eternal salvation and continue my prayers for those souls without faith, it is perhaps their LACK of faith that is ensuring MY salvation…

After all, if the answer to my prayers – the conversion of my loved ones – was already granted to me, then I would be praying an awful lot less. And it occurs to me today, that perhaps God called me because He wanted me… And perhaps without His calling to me, and His lack of calling to some of those who I love, I myself would be unable to attain Heaven.


And when I think about that today, I give glory to the wanting of God. For He wants things as He wants them, because they fulfil His Holy Plan for the goodness and salvation of souls.


And today – as I pray for the conversion of those who I love – I trust in the WANTING of my God. I trust in that WANTING…


For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.

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