I MUST suffer.And I know this because there is no other way that I could ever get any closer to God.
I have recently started studying a course for a business that I am starting to push.
While the course itself is not terribly difficult, it is one extra thing that I must make time for in my day, and this in itself is quite difficult. On top of that is the added discipline required in studying.
It is one thing to help others to study and quite another to take upon myself the responsibility of having to manage my time and efforts to ensure that I complete my studies in a systematic manner so that I can pass and succeed in this new venture. But there is more to it than that. You see, that study is not just for the sake of appearances. It is actually designed so that I can learn something. And what I have come to realise is that it is the most important thing of all to be firmly committed to this idea of learning. After all, it is easy enough to study and quite another thing to learn. And learning is what I have set out to do for myself.
And it is the learning that is hard and overwhelming. That process of continual development and self-improvement is the part of this study that is in fact most difficult for me. It is not to say that I do not enjoy learning new things – I most certainly do… It is to say that the process of learning in uncomfortable.
And I have been reflecting on this process as I have been going about my studies. You see, I do not only learn in my course, but I learn also in the process of experiencing suffering and in living my life. And that means something…
You see, just as I am uncomfortable while I study in my course, because I am growing and developing and learning – in short, because I am becoming better – so too should I be uncomfortable in my spiritual life, because that is also how I can grow and learn and develop and become a better child of God.
And that has caused me to think about suffering. You see, I often try to turn away from suffering. Who likes pain after all? Certainly not me. I would definitely prefer to live my life without any pain or suffering or sorrow or fear. But there is a serious problem with that… And the problem is that a life lived without suffering would mean that I never got any closer to God – that I never became any better.
And I have been thinking about that today, as I reflect on the purpose of suffering… You see, I MUST suffer. And I know this because there is no other way that I could ever get any closer to God.
For without the GIFT of suffering, I would never merit eternal life… And knowing that today, I thank God for that – even as I turn back to my study…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.
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