God is there in the silence – waiting to talk to me.
Have you ever sat beside the bed of a dying person? Have you ever waited the long wait while they breathe their last breaths in this world?
My father always says that the final breath that a person breathes will invariably be the hardest breath they will draw in their lifetime. And I find myself agreeing with him…
I remember the quiet prayers inside the quiet room where my grandfather died and my grandmother. I remember the rasping of their breath slowing in and out of their lungs. I witnessed this when I was a little girl and it did not fill me with fear – even then – it filled me with a strange, quiet and sad sort of peace.
Being blessed to witness the passing of a soul from this world to the next one in such a quiet way is a true blessing.
Not all deaths a quiet and peaceful and gentle. Some are violent and some are tragic, and some are terrible and horrific and filled with fear. But being able to die slowly of an illness – even after experiencing terrible pain, is in my mind – when understanding that we were born to die to be born to eternal life – a true sort of blessing.
And that is a strange thing to think or say in this world. After all, we celebrate our celebrities for their youth. We advertise and publish youth and sexuality and physical beauty as the pinnacle of success. We do not look at the long string of failed marriages of our actors and actresses when judging their lives as bearing merit, instead, we consider whether they have the body of a twenty year old when they are in fact fifty-five.
They say that art reflects life. This year alone, there are two films released with actresses over the age of forty (one of them over the age of fifty) as depicted as falling in love with men in their twenties. These women do not look like the average middle-aged woman. Instead, they look like twenty year olds. And I do not judge this – especially when I myself spend so much time maintaining my own physical appearance – but I do question this depiction of age. It certainly seems inverted to the truth, and it is that very inversion that concerns me.
You see, the Evil One has a way of turning good things around in our minds so that they appear bad. We age as a sign that all is good on the world. Our ability to age shows that we are able to come closer to our Blessed Lord. Age is part of our sacramental journey (which is dictated by age restrictions to ensure that we have the maturity to understand the Graces we will receive).
And it is the same with silence. We are afraid of it. Our phone in our pockets are a constant source of noise and distraction removing from us the need to spend even a moment in the silence or a moment in the quiet. And that concerns me today. Because God is there in the silence – waiting to talk to me. And I spend my entire life trying to drown out His voice…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.
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