It seems to me that my life is one continual act rescue by my Beloved…
It is so easy to lose hope.
It is possibly the easiest thing in the world for me to lose hope for the future.
When ties are difficult, or I am dealt a blow (even a small blow) the first ting I can think to myself is that I can quit or stop or try not to go on. And losing hope is really just a modified form of cowardice. After all, it takes great courage to have hope. After all, there is nothing more courageous than looking a terrible situation straight in the eye – smack bang in the face – so to speak, and saying, “Give me whatever you have. I am the Daughter of the King and there is nothing that I fear.”
And I have been reflecting on how Christ showed us how to do that. And He did show us – He showed me – twenty centuries ago when He walked on the water…
“Immediately he made his disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, to Bethsaida, while he dismissed the crowd...And he saw that they were making headway painfully, for the wind was against them. And about the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. He meant to pass by them, but when they saw him walking on the sea they thought it was a ghost, and cried out; for they all saw him, and were terrified. But immediately he spoke to them and said, ‘Take heart, it is I; have no fear.’ And he got into the boat with them and the wind ceased.” (Mark 6:45-52).
So first He sent the disciples out into the unknown – knowing full well that storms would come. And then – while in the midst of the storm, He came to them. And I can imagine how the disciples must have felt. I can imagine their fear – will this be my death? Am I going to breathe my last now? Will this hurt? And in their very despair Christ was there, next to them – completely without fear!
And when you think about the ways that all of the disciples – with the exception of Saint John – died, then such a fear by drowning would seem a relative blessing. And yet, how afraid they were of such a death. And I have been reflecting on that today because it seems to me that we are so afraid of what is in front of us and we fail to see how much worse things could be. And more than that… When the smallish things happen that seem unbearable, they are an opportunity to build up courage to be able to handle the more difficult things that we will be faced with in the future.
Perhaps, when he hung on his upside down cross, Saint Simon Peter remembered the face of Christ who walked towards him on that sea during that storm. Perhaps he took comfort in knowing that Christ was with him also now. Perhaps he saw before him all the million instances when he was saved by his Beloved in the past and he knew that this was the final rescue?
And I have been thinking about that today. For it seems to me that my life is one continual act rescue by my Beloved… And I look – with courage – to my final rescue on my final day…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.
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