“Lord, if you don't need my good name, what should I want it for?” (Saint Josemaría).
For many years now, I have been teaching English students the allegorical and satirical play “The Crucible”, which written by Arthur Miller in 1953. In this play, Miller uses a fictional story about the Salem witch hunt to explore the idea of political fanaticism relating to the corrupt American McCarthy trials during the Cold War.
In this play, the character of John Proctor is accused of witchcraft by Abigail, who is a jealous mistress that he has spurned to be faithful to his wife. Although the accusation was false, John is executed for the crime – being unable to prove his innocence against superstitions within the community. Prior to his death his wife begs him to repent, admit that he is a witch and beg for forgiveness so that he will not be executed.
But John will not confess to a crime that he did not commit because he does not want to loose his good name… “Proctor (with a cry of his whole soul): Because it is my name! Because I cannot have another in my life! Because I lie and sign myself to lies! … How may I live without my name? I have given you my soul; leave me my name!”
And I have been reflecting on that speech of the character John as I have been reflecting on the reputation of Christ – during His life and even unto His Passion and Death on the Cross.
For Christ said… “A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master; it is enough for the disciple to be like his teacher, and the servant like his master. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebul, how much more will they malign those of his household...? Do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul; rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell... So every one who acknowledges Me before men, I also will acknowledge before My Father who is in heaven; but whoever denies Me before men, I also will deny before My Father who is in heaven.” (Matthew 10:24-33).
For Christ – unlike the character John – surrendered His GOOD NAME to save OUR SOULS! For He understood that His soul, and ours too, was worth far more than anyone’s reputation…
The Saints also endured – very often – great persecution in the NAME of God. Saint Padre Pio was ostracised by the Church who feared that he was unholy. Saint Josemaría was misunderstood by many, and once wrote to the bishop “I don't have any tears left for crying.” And yet, these Saints – like Christ, who is GOD Himself – understood the significance of reputation. One night, Saint Josemaría went – in exasperation – to the oratory and keeling before the Tabernacle, he said, “Lord, if you don't need my good name, what should I want it for?”
For the Saints understood their weakness and the acceptance of the Holy Will of God. And knowing this, they could follow the advice of Saint John Chrysostom, who said, “Be ashamed when you sin. Do not be ashamed when you repent. Sin is the wound. Repentance is the medicine.”
And knowing this, I dare to pray, “Lord, if you don't need my good name, what should I want it for?” – do with me as YOU WILL…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.
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