Refuse

“But He refused, and said to him, ‘Go home to your friends, and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how He has had mercy on you.’” (Mark 5:18-19).

Christ Healing the Demoniac (Icon)

I have been reflecting on the story of Christ expelling the legion of demons from the man into the swine.  Usually when I consider this story, I focus on the number of demons and become distracted by the swine running into the water.  I have been focused on the conversation between Christ and the evil ones and have wondered how that would have sounded and how the people watching the interaction would have felt about it.

But, this time, I was focused on something completely different…

And this time I was focused on the refusal of Christ to allow the demoniac to accompany Him and travel with Him…

“And as He was getting into the boat, the man who had been possessed with demons begged Him that he might be with Him. But He refused, and said to him, ‘Go home to your friends, and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how He has had mercy on you.’ And he went away and began to proclaim in the Decapolis how much Jesus had done for him; and all men marvelled.” (Mark 5:18-20).

And I have been really thinking about what that must have felt like for the man…  There he was, newly healed of this terrible malady.  For years he had been tormented.  For years he was unable to live a normal life.  He could not socialise with others.  He could not marry and have a  family.  He could not work.  He was unable to live in a town like everyone else.  He would have received no gentleness and compassion.  Instead, he would have been left alone to experience loneliness, fear, isolation, shame and torment.

And then – out of nowhere – Christ came to him (because he could not go to Christ).  And out of that encounter, Christ healed him…

“And when He had come out of the boat, there met him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit, who lived among the tombs; and no one could bind him any more, even with a chain; for he had often been bound with fetters and chains, but the chains he wrenched apart, and the fetters he broke in pieces; and no one had the strength to subdue him. Night and day among the tombs and on the mountains he was always crying out, and bruising himself with stones. And when he saw Jesus from afar, he ran and worshiped him; and crying out with a loud voice, he said, ‘What have you to do with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I adjure you by God, do not torment me.’ For He had said to him, ‘Come out of the man, you unclean spirit!’...” (Mark 5:1-10).

And then – miraculously – he was healed.  Did he wonder if he would lapse and become possessed again?  Did he wonder if he would be safe if Christ moved on?  Did he love God so much that he never wanted to be separated from Him again?

And so, he went to Christ, and he asked to go with Him.  And Christ refused.

Imagine how that would have hurt the man.  I can imagine the tears coming into his eyes and I can imagine all kinds of thinking…  “What will I do now?  How can I go on like this?  I am scared, this might happen again.  What does God want of me if not this?  But I love Him so much…”

And still Christ refused.  And He gave the man a different job.  And so, the man went about and told everyone what had happened…

And it occurs to me today that Christ has also sent me away to do things for Him…  And I have been so busy crying in despair, that I have failed to do anything about it…

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.