God did not say, I am sending you out so that you do it yourself.Instead, He said, I am sending you out and I WILL DO IT MYSELF.
I do not like to make mistakes.
Now, that is not really an unusual thing as most people do not like making mistakes, but for me, making a mistake makes me feel truly terrible.
Now, maybe that is because I am heavily invested in everything that I do and I take my work and duties very seriously and therefore go out of my way to avoid mistakes, or maybe it is because I like the feeling of success and through a misguided sense of pride, I place myself into positions that cause me to steer myself towards success rather than failure? Or perhaps I am just deeply anxious and I catastrophise the possible outcomes that could result from a mistake, which is a demonstration of my deep lack of faith?
Whichever it is – whatever the reason – I really do not like making mistakes.
While this is not a big deal, what it really means is that this fear of making mistakes can prevent me from trying in the first place. And THAT – that lack of MOVEMENT – is the worst of all things…
You see, when I am afraid to try, I give away all chance of ever succeeding. When I am afraid to try. I give away all chance of even trying to fulfil the will of God. What I am really saying through that fearful lack of movement is that the task that God has assigned to me is too big for me – AND TOO BIG FOR GOD. And THAT is why it is such a terrible thing because Christ has work for us to do…
“Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. Beware of men; for they will deliver you up to councils, and flog you in their synagogues, and you will be dragged before governors and kings for my sake, to bear testimony before them and the Gentiles. When they deliver you up, do not be anxious how you are to speak or what you are to say; for what you are to say will be given to you in that hour; for it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.” (Matthew 10:16-23).
God did not say, I am sending you out so that you do it yourself. Instead, He said, I am sending you out and I WILL DO IT MYSELF.
And that is a very profound thing. Because the only thing that God is asking me for is the opportunity to speak through my mouth – that is all…
He is asking me for the chance to open my mouth as a vessel for Him and to allow Him to speak on my behalf. And when I understand that I also understand that there can be no mistakes and that I truly have nothing to fear…
And that allows me to have movement – even when I feel a little bit afraid…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.
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