“There are a great number of Christians who would be apostles ..., if they were not afraid.” (Saint Josemaría, “Furrow”, at 103).
I had had a really long week. I had issues each day of the week that had tired me out. One problem after another seemed to rear its ugly head for me that week. And it was a week of unfairness. It was a week where I was being blamed for things that were in no way my fault. It was a week where every single little thing was causing me trouble. It was a week where every single thing was a problem. It was a week where I was completely misunderstood by people who should have known better.
And as I was throwing myself a pity party over the small injustices that I had experienced, it occurred to me that I am not the only soul that has been misunderstood. In fact, I am not the only soul that has been misunderstood and unfairly misunderstood. I am in fact, the most worthy soul of misunderstanding. Other souls deserved to be misunderstood far less than me because they are far more perfect than I could ever be.
And those souls are not only the Saints, but the Blessed Virgin, and even God Himself.
And when I say, God Himself, I do not only refer to God the Son, in His human form, who was misunderstood be those humans who lived with Him and could not comprehend that God Himself would come to Earth in human form. I am talking about God the Father and God the Holy Spirit. I am talking about I am talking about the Holy Trinity.
How many times do I doubt God? How many times did I doubt Him that week? Everything that happens in this world is allowed by God. And that means that everything that happens in this world will be turned to the good. Because God turns everything to the good. That means the greatest triumphs and most terrible tragedies are equally ALLOWED BY God for the greater good. And that means that when I doubt God in the moments when I am misunderstood, that is when I dare to misunderstand the King of all Creation…
Saint Josemaria said in “Furrow” at 103, “There are a great number of Christians who would be apostles ..., if they were not afraid. They are the same people who then complain, because the Lord - they say! - has abandoned them. How do they treat God?” And I have been thinking about that today. Because it seems to me that I have wounded my Lord and God many many times because when I was misunderstood, I misunderstood Him for it.
And when I think about that doubt and that fear and that mistrust, my heart quivers with shame. For I wounded the Creator of the Universe, just because I was wounded – and that is such a terrible terrible thing…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.
Comments