“Just as bacteria are cultivated in a laboratory, so you are cultivating those faults and those errors…” (Saint Josemaria, “The Forge”, 481).
Microbes are very very small organisms like bacteria and viruses. These very small organisms cannot even be seen with the naked eye and yet – despite their tiny size – they can cause a huge amount of damage.
I have only to think of the COVID-19 pandemic to understand how much harm can be caused by a tiny little thing.
And I have been reflecting on those tiny little things – those microbes – while I have been reflecting on the damage that they can cause because they remind me of the importance of an examination of conscience…
When I was a little school-girl, my teachers and the chaplain of my school strongly encouraged me (and my classmates) to perform an examination of conscience every night before falling asleep.
And I have to admit that I very rarely made the time to do that at all because just as I would try to get into that examination, I would find myself tired and sleepy and falling asleep. And as is the case with most things of true value in this world, I would find myself filling the vacuum with valueless things instead.
And I have found that I have continued in this terrible habit in all the years of my life. I tend to skip that bit of reflection. After all, I know the big things that I do wrong – I mean those are the things that one could hardly miss… But then all those teeny tiny little things that I do wrong get forgotten. The time I was uncharitable with a sister. The time I thought unkind things about someone else. The time I gossiped (just a little bit).
And I guess that on their own those times are not a big deal. After all, there is time for all of that… But altogether there is something very very dangerous about all those little forgotten times.
And all those little times are little sins. And the problem with the little sins is that “Just as bacteria are cultivated in a laboratory, so you are cultivating those faults and those errors, with your lack of humility, with your lack of prayer, with your failure to fulfill your duty, with your lack of self knowledge. Those tiny germs then spread everywhere. You need to make a good examination of conscience every day. It will lead you to make definite resolutions to improve, because it will have made you really sorry for your shortcomings, omissions and sins.” (Saint Josemaria, “The Forge”, 481).
And I have been reflecting on that today, because it occurs to me that there are so many teeny tiny little germs that will lead me very far along the path away from my Beloved because I simply do not take the time to reflect on them and think about them…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.
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