There is in my soul such deep longing for God – so deep that it is painful – a constant suffering…” (Saint Mother Teresa of Calcutta).
Sometimes it is very easy to see another soul and to judge them.
Sometimes, I look at what other people do or say and form a conclusion in my own mind. Sometimes, I form that conclusion in an uncharitable way and with uncharitable thoughts. And in that case, I am usually most wrong.
God is the eternal and just judge. It is God who gets to decide who is right and who is wrong. And He gets really annoyed with us when we do this job for Him…
“On a sabbath, while he was going through the grainfields, his disciples plucked and ate some heads of grain, rubbing them in their hands. But some of the Pharisees said, "Why are you doing what is not lawful to do on the sabbath?” (Luke 6:1-5).
And there were the Pharisees – judging everyone. There they were telling everyone the rules. And how annoying God found that. How annoyed was Christ with all the tattle telling. How annoyed was Christ with all the ridiculous rules and regulations. And how annoyed is Christ with me for all the judging of others that I do…
If there is a modern Saint who inspires me, it is Saint Mother Teresa of Calcutta. Saint Mother Teresa was known for her smile and warmth in all things, and especially in caring for the sick and the poor. In fact, her vocation was to care for the poorest of the poor. In fact, Saint Mother Teresa said, “We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do.”
And I have been reflecting on that because it is often the hardest thing in the world to smile when we are grieved or sad or overwhelmed or depressed…
And though Saint Mother Teresa was renowned for her smile, she suffered great spiritual isolation. She wrote to her spiritual advisor, “There is in my soul such deep longing for God – so deep that it is painful – a constant suffering – and yet not wanted by God – empty – no faith – no love – no zeal. Souls hold no attraction – Heaven means nothing – and yet this torturing longing for God. Pray for me please that I keep smiling at Him in spite of everything.”
And I have been thinking about those words today because as the Saint smiled through her pain and was judged to be happy, so too do others suffer in silence and all I can see is their idiotic behaviour and the things that they do and say. And in my proud and misguided weakness, all I can do is consider what I see.
And today it occurs to me to look beyond the exterior and allow God to do the judging. After all, God sees all and knows all and understands all…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.
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