“Nothing created has ever been able to fill the heart of man. God alone can fill it infinitely.” (Saint Thomas Aquinas).
A while ago I lost my voice.
I was not sick really, but I simply lost my voice and though that might sound very unimportant, it was a rather disconcerting experience for me. You see, I have only ever lost my voice once before during my life.
The strangest thing about losing my voice was that I found it impossible to sing. Not only was speaking a great difficulty to me, but singing was actually impossible.
And while I was recovering from this bought of laryngitis I started thinking about the angels and the saints.
You see, inside my mind I was more than capable of singing and my mind felt that I could sing away just as I always had before. But, the physical reality of my situation was that I could not sing at all.
And this reminded me of the angels and the saints. You see, my soul is a very small weak and miserable soul. And this experience of desiring to sing and yet being incapable of singing reminded me of my weakness in my spiritual life.
You see, the angels and the Saints are the greater souls than mine. And they can give glory to God as they wish. It is like they can worship God in the way that I am singing with the voice that I imagine inside my mind. And the reality is that I am – at least for a time – unable to croak out even the smallest tune…
Saint Augustine said, “Don't let your life give evidence against your tongue. Sing with your voices... sing also with your conduct.” And this is part of what I mean when I say that I sing better in my mind than with my voice. And it is the life of the Saints that does not give evidence against their tongues. For they not only speak their worship of God, but they live it too…
For as Saint Thomas Aquinas said, “The things we love tell us what we are.” And I have been thinking about that while I have been thinking about what it is that I most desire to do with my life. You see, I most desire to love the Lord my God with all my heart and all my mind and all my soul. And while I am sitting in the Church listening to the hymns that I could not – for a time – sing, it occurred to me how great a love for God I must surely wish to have. For as Saint Thomas Aquinas added, “Nothing created has ever been able to fill the heart of man. God alone can fill it infinitely.”
And in singing my praises inside my mind, while my voice recovered from this laryngitis, it occurs to me to be grateful for my own weakness. For if my Beloved required anything more of me, He would have made it so. And right now, knowing that I cannot sing the way that I really want to, it occurs to me to ask the angels and the Saints to sing on my behalf. For the only important thing is to give praise to my Beloved – it does not matter how…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.
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