I judged Saint Peter all my life, and yet, his love is so much greater than mine that God gave Him the Keys of His kingdom…
I recently saw an El Greco artwork called “The Tears of Saint Peter”. The artwork depicts Saint Peter crying. And I have been unable to remove this image from my mind.
You see, for most of my life I have completely misunderstood Saint Peter. I have considered him a very annoying individual.
Of all the apostles, Saint Peter is the one who spent the most time running around and declaring himself the leader... “And a dispute also developed among them as to which one of them was regarded as being the greatest.” (Luke 22:24). Saint Peter was the one suggesting that he build some tents and stay on Mount Tabour forever with Christ Moses and Elijah during the Transfiguration… “Peter said to Jesus, ‘Lord, it is good for us to be here. If You wish, I will put up three shelters—one for You, one for Moses and one for Elijah.’” (Matthew 17:4). Saint Peter was the one proclaiming that he would follow Christ to death... “But he said to Him, ‘Lord, I am ready to go with You both to prison and to death!’” (Luke 22:33).
And yet Saint Peter received some significant reprimands from God… “But He turned and said to Peter, ‘Get behind Me, Satan! You are a hindrance to Me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.” (Matthew 16:23). Strong words of reprimand for this Saint who failed to understand the message of Christ…
And then later – just when his beloved Friend needed him the most – Saint Peter denied Christ three times and then ran away, even after he had been for-warned! “Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know Me.’” (Luke 22:34).
And I find this so annoying about Saint Peter. He was available for all the glory – but he seemed so shirk all the misery. And I have thought this about the Saint during most of my life. And yet – since my conversion, which occurred through Grace and no merit of my own, my ideas have changed…
Today – when I look at that artwork of Saint Peter’s tears – I see something far more significant than misunderstanding, reprimand and denial. When I look at that artwork I see LOVE…
An angel revealed to Saint Faustina during his revelations to her that her love for God and her sacrifice for souls had earned her a THRONE in Heaven – an ACTUAL THRONE. Saint Faustina is not in heaven seated at the back door, barely getting inside the gates – she is sitting on a THRONE because of her sacrifices and love. And Saint Faustina recorded this revelation in her Dairy 683…
“Once, when I was praying fervently to the Jesuit Saints, I suddenly saw my Guardian Angel, who led me before the throne of God. I passed through great hosts of saints, and I recognized many of them, whom I knew from their pictures. I saw many Jesuits, who asked me from what congregation I was. When I answered they asked, “Who is your spiritual director?” I answered that it was Father A….. When they wanted to say more, my Guardian Angel beckoned me to be silent, and I came before the throne of God. I saw a great and inaccessible light, and I saw a place destined for me, close to God. But what it was like I do not know, because a cloud covered it. However, my Guardian Angel said to me, ‘Here is your throne, for your faithfulness in fulfilling the will of God.’”
And I have been reflecting on that too. Because for her life of sacrifice, Saint Faustina earned a throne. And for his life, Saint Peter earned more than a throne – he earned the KEYS! “I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.” (Matthew 16:19).
Saint Peter – this terribly flawed individual – earned the keys to the Kingdom. And I have been reflecting on why?
After all, we hear about lots of the mistakes that Saint Peter made, and in hearing about those – even twenty centuries later – there is a temptation to consider such mistakes evidence of Saint Peter’s unholiness… And yet, there must have been something wonderous for Christ to give Saint Peter something which no other Saint – even His Blessed Mother – has, which is those KEYS...
And those tears in the picture give me a hint of what it could be. Because we hear in the Gospel that after he had denied Christ three times, Saint Peter went outside and wept bitterly… “The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: ‘Before the rooster crows today, you will disown Me three times.’ And he went outside and wept bitterly.” (Luke 22:61-62).
And that is what is fixed in my mind today – those bitter tears…
For though Saint Peter had many faults, he also had such wonderful love for God that the world could barely fathom… And in exchange for that LOVE, God gave Peter great things – even despite his multitude of mistakes…
“Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to Him, ‘Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Feed my sheep.’” (John 21:17).
And when I consider that today, I bow my head in shame and I am humbled... For I judged Saint Peter all my life, and yet, his love is so much greater than mine that God gave Him the Keys of His kingdom…
And I can see that now, today, right there in his tears…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.
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