Giving from excess is not giving. It is when we give from our need that we truly imitate the example of Christ.
There are so many times in my life when I give a little bit.
Let me just think back. For example, I can be wonderfully patient with my children – up to a certain point. And then – they just push one too many buttons and I flip and switch and have a full-blown adult-mother tantrum. I can put up with all sorts of little bits and pieces and then I just totally cave and become someone who is not able to cope with anything at all. Small stresses build and build, and while the little tiny small stresses are not that much of a big deal to me, the building of them is so traumatic that eventually I become unbalanced by them and I just tip over.
And the same goes with giving. I am happy to give a little bit. I give enough so that it really does not bother me too much. After all, one does not need to think too much about giving away their loose change. But ask me for a real investment of money or time and then I am a little more begrudging. Then, I wonder what exactly you are going to use that money for. Then I give it and count the cost. Are you using my donation for a holiday? Have you put it towards your home? Are you buying a new car with it? Or, did you pay for school fees out of that money…?
I give just enough to not be impacted by the gift. And LATER, well, later I will give more…
And I have been thinking about that today because Christ asked us to give and give generously and give NOW…
“Jesus sat down opposite the treasury, and watched the multitude putting money into the treasury. Many rich people put in large sums. And a poor widow came, and put in two copper coins, which make a penny. And he called his disciples to him, and said to them, ‘Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the treasury. For they all contributed out of their abundance; but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, her whole living.’” (Mark 12:38-44).
Saint Josemaria said, “‘Great’ holiness consists in fulfilling the ‘little duties’ of each moment.”
And I have been thinking about that too. Because it does not matter how the giving looks – it only matters that it hurts. I should feel that giving. Giving means to deprive myself and provide to someone else. And I have to ask myself, is it truly giving if it is easy to do? Christ gave. He gave even the blood and water from His Holy Side. There was nothing left after He had given. This is the example of giving that I have been provided with.
Giving from excess is not giving. It is when we give from our need that we truly imitate the example of Christ, which He demonstrated, first through the story of the poor widow and then through His own Passion and Death on the Cross.
And thinking about that today, it seems to me that I am not generous at all and that I have never given anything. Because, really, nothing has really ever hurt me to give at all…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.
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