“When a man trains himself to acts of virtue, it is with the help of grace from God, from whom all good things come …” (Saint Joseph of Cupertino).
I have been thinking about God a lot over the last few days. I have been reflecting on how much of my time and life I devote to God.
One thing that I notice is that when people are going through a difficult time, they tend to spend a lot of time thinking about God and talking to God (in prayer – for prayer is a conversation with God). Those people may even spend a lot of time arguing with God – in as much as a mere human being can argue with the Eternal Creator of the Universe.
I remember attending the Sacrament of Reconciliation very soon after my little baby went to Heaven before he was even born, and I remember telling the priest how angry I was with God for allowing this little child to die. I remember my blind rage about this whole thing because I was completely blind-sided by the idea that God was going to give me a child (who I had never even asked Him for) and then so cruelly rip that child away from me. I felt very betrayed by God in this.
And I spent years being that angry. And in that very first confession, the priest said to me, well, I am afraid there is just no point being so angry with God. After all, you can’t really kick Him in the shins to show Him that you are angry with Him.
And he was right. Those were very true words.
But still, for the longest time I was angry. And then one day – when I was praying for my little niece who was so sick – the Holy Spirit inspired my soul to realise that my baby was a little Saint and in an instant, I knew that child was okay and would intercede for me and for his family here on earth.
And the relief was instant. The weight of that anger lifted from my chest as though there was a dead weight lifted. And I realised – in an instant – that I would have no chance of achieving Heaven without that little Saint…
Saint Joseph of Cupertino said, “Clearly, what God wants, above all, is our will, which we received as a free gift from God in creation and possess as though our own. When a man trains himself to acts of virtue, it is with the help of grace from God, from whom all good things come … The will is what man has, as his unique possession.”
And what God wanted from me was everything. Absolutely everything. He asked me for that child – who was my whole entire world. And He did that for love of me because He knew that THAT was how I would achieve Heaven…
And I have been thinking about that today, because it seems that God asks much of me because it is nothing when compared to what rewards He has in store for those who love Him…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.
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