“Distrust on the part of souls is tearing at My insides.” (Saint Faustina, Diary 50).
I recently heard a story about Saint Ignatius of Loyola, and the story goes like this…
One day there was a priest, Father Lainez, and he was having a conversation with Saint Ignatius of Loyola. During the conversation, Saint Ignatius asked, “If God gave you the choice between going straightaway to Heaven or staying here on earth working for His Glory - but risking your salvation - what would you choose?”
The priest responded very quickly, saying, “I’d certainly choose the first: my salvation.”
Saint Ignatius listened to that response and then made his reply, saying, “I’d rather choose the second. How could God allow my condemnation as a consequence of a previous act of generosity on my part?”
And I have been reflecting on this conversation of the Saint as I have been reflecting on my own faith – or sad lack of it!
You see, it all comes down to trust and distrust. If I actually have faith in the goodness of God, that means that I trust Him and trust Him implicitly. That means that like Saint Ignatius, I would be able to say, live now or die now, I trust that God will save me if I give Him my love.
And I have been reflecting on that, because there is such evidence of the rewards that God offers to those who Love Him and have Faith in Him…
Think only of Zechariah… “The angel said to Zechariah, ‘Do not be afraid, Zechariah, for your prayer is heard, and your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you shall call his name John’... And Zechariah said to the angel, ‘How shall I know this? For I am an old man, and my wife is advanced in years.’ And the angel answered him, ‘I am Gabriel...and behold, you will be silent and unable to speak until the day that these things come to pass, because you did not believe my words.’” (Luke 1:5–25).
When Zechariah became mute, it perhaps looked like he – as an elderly man – had a stroke or some other terribly incident that had robbed him of his speech, but in fact, it was God’s way of showing Zechariah HOW to speak…
You see, I have been thinking about why Zechariah became mute? And it seems that it was very similar in reason to the reason why I sometimes do not speak… It was because God – like my mother – said, “If you do not have something nice to say, please do not speak at all.”
And I have been reflecting on that. There he was standing in the presence of THE ANGEL GABRIEL, and still the word of that spirit was not enough to PROVE what God was doing for one who loved Him. And I have been reflecting on what a terrible suffering such a thing would have been for God!
After all, Christ told Saint Faustina (and she recorded His words in her Diary Entry 50), “Distrust on the part of souls is tearing at My insides. The distrust of a chosen soul causes Me even greater pain; despite My inexhaustible love for them they do not trust Me. Even My death is not enough for them. Woe to the soul that abuses these (gifts).”
And I have been reflecting on that today. Because my Beloved gives me everything. And still I ask for proof…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.
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