“How many souls might reach a high degree of sanctity if properly directed from the first.” (Saint Therese of Lisieux, “Story of a Soul” at page 64).
When I was a little girl, my mother and father were very strict about what we were allowed to do and what we were not allowed to do.
We lived a life that was very restricted and although I was very angry about this as a young girl, and I considered this a terrible injustice at the time, with hindsight I consider this a great blessing to me. My father considered that it was very important to establish clear boundaries between us. He was very clear that as parents it was not his job – or my mother’s job – to be our friends. They would not be doing things that we liked just because we liked it. They would not be accommodating and understanding of stupidity just because it might make us feel better and they would not be tolerant of poor behaviour, because that sort of indulgence would not benefit us during our lives.
And I have been thinking about that today.
You see, I try very much to adopt similar patterns and behaviours in this regard with my own children. I understand that I am their mother and not their friend. I treat them and myself with a sort of distance that is intimate. In other words, I am so close to them as their mother that I will willingly and purposefully distance myself from their emotions so that I do what I believe is best of their souls. And this is a sort of paradox. You see, just as God the Father – the perfect and eternal parent – sometimes allows sorrows, sufferings and sacrifices into our lives because it is in our best interests, so too am I called to allow my children to be – at times – upset. For sometimes, that sadness, or disappointment, or sorrow, is something that they must experience for their own good.
Saint Therese of Lisieux was a beautiful little girl who was very very emotional. Her older sisters (after the death of their mother) decided that they would never flatter Saint Therese. They never told her she was beautiful and never allowed her to think that her appearance was something of merit. Their intention in this regard was to allow her to grow in humility.
And as an adolescent, Saint Therese valued that up brining… “How many souls might reach a high degree of sanctity if properly directed from the first. I know God can sanctify souls without help, but just as He gives the gardener the skill to tend rare and delicate plants while fertilizing them Himself, so He wishes to use others in His cultivation of souls. What would happen if the gardener were so clumsy that he could not graft his trees properly, or knew so little about them that he wanted to make a peach tree bear roses?” (Saint Therese of Lisieux, “Story of a Soul” at page 64).
And I have been thinking about that today, as I have been thinking about the importance of direction…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.
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