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Writer's pictureSarah Raad

Denial

What a blessing I am afforded in the denial of my prayers…

The Entombment of Christ (Caravaggio)

I have always been a very hard worker.


I am not making this statement with a proud heart, but rather as a statement of fact. You see, my mother obvious believed very strongly in the old adage that says, “…the devil finds work for idle minds…” and so she always made sure that we were kept very busy indeed.


Now, I was a little girl a long time ago now, but during that time, my mother had some very clear rules. And one of those rules was that there was to be no television during the week. That meant that after school we were to busy ourselves with homework and other things but we were not allowed to sit on a couch and watch television.


So, we learned to enjoy reading and playing piano and being outside. After all, in those days, people were lucky to have one computer in a home and even if they had that they would very rarely have internet connection, and even if they had internet connection, they would very rarely have a connection that was fast enough to actually be able to do something useful with…

And I have been thinking about that time of my childhood – that sort of golden time that we used to have – because although I am completely unable to replicate that time with my own children in today’s world – it reminds me of the motivation that one needs to do well…

Recently one of my little nephews learned to stand up all by himself. He crawled over to a coffee table, and when he looked up and saw a bright and shiny pen on the table-top, he stretched out his little hands, balanced on his little feet and stood his little body all the way up.


And that shiny pen in front of his eyes was all the motivation that he needed to say, “Enough! Now I am going to do this. Now it is worth it. Enough!”


And I have been reflecting on that motivation, because Saint Ambrose said, “Christ Himself is our mouth through which we speak to the Father, our eye through which we see the Father, our right hand through which we offer to the Father. Without His intercession neither we nor all the saints have anything with God.”


And just like when I was a young girl, I did not really understand what my mother was doing in denying me things to help me to grow in other ways, and just like my little nephew needed to learn to stand to reach the pen, so too does my Beloved deny me things so that I can better reach for Him.


And when I think about that today, I am overcome. For what a blessing I am afforded in the denial of my prayers… What a blessing…


For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.

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