“Don't drag the Cross... Carry it squarely on your shoulder... Don't bear your Cross with resignation: resignation is not a generous word. Love the Cross. When you really love it, your Cross will be... a Cross, without a Cross.” (Saint Josemaría).
It is really hard to suffer and really hard to see someone who you love in pain.
The other day a dear one had some major surgery. As a result of this surgery this person had to have an extended recovery period. During that recovery period there was great physical suffering.
And this is a very common thing to occur. You see, I have a dear friend whose father was very ill with a life threatening condition. After he was treated for this illness and while he was recovering, he felt experienced depression. And this depression became almost as big a problem for him and his loved ones as the underlying medical condition, which had threatened his life.
Here, while the suffering was no physical, it was certainly emotional and spiritual, and as a result of that suffering, this man and his family experienced feelings of isolation, anguish and grief.
And I have been reflecting on the ways that we experience suffering. You see, even two thousand years ago, the apostles themselves shied away from suffering and were afraid of it…
“Jesus was teaching His disciples, saying to them, ‘The Son of man will be delivered into the hands of men, and they will kill Him; and when He is killed, after three days He will rise.’ But they did not understand the saying, and they were afraid to ask Him.” (Mark 9:30-37).
And that is an interesting thing to me. Some years ago when my youngest little baby died before he was even born, my overriding fear was the fear of the suffering that I would experience following his death. The suffering was terrible but the fear was worse! And I have been thinking about that today, because it is pretty much the same experience as the disciples two thousand years ago… This experience of fearing the suffering – of fearing the Cross…
And yet – the Cross is necessary. Without the Cross I cannot be saved. Saint Josemaría said, “Don't drag the Cross... Carry it squarely on your shoulder... Don't bear your Cross with resignation: resignation is not a generous word. Love the Cross. When you really love it, your Cross will be... a Cross, without a Cross.”
And I have been thinking about that today. Because I realise that Christ carried the Cross FIRST and Christ carries the Cross LAST. Because Christ is the eternal Pascal Sacrifice. And that means that in each Cross that I carry, Christ is carrying it with me. And when I think about that today, I am a little less scared. Because the suffering is necessary and the Cross is true. And when the Lord allows me to carry the cross, what He is really doing, is carrying it with me. And knowing that my God is right here - right next to me – how could I possibly be scared?
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.
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