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Writer's pictureSarah Raad

Beside

“‘Woman, behold, your son!’ Then he said to the disciple, ‘Behold, your mother!’ And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.” (John 19: 27).

Our Lady of Sorrows (H Sanchez)

I am the eldest child in a family with eight children.


I am very close in age to the children (twins) born immediately after me. However, the interesting thing about twins is that they – very naturally – prefer each other’s company to the company of almost anyone else.


And that means that as I was growing up, while I was not excluded, I was always a little bit of a third wheel with those two others. As a result, two things happened to me. The first is that I got very comfortable standing alone and being alone. I became self-sufficient and for the most part I am quite happy taking responsibility for everything that I do. And the second thing that happened, is that I have at times felt lonely and been in search of a special friend.


Luckily for me, I have wonderful friends and family and a husband and children, and I am not – in general – very lonely. However, understanding this about myself means that I have spent some time reflecting on loneliness. Saint Mother Teresa of Calcutta once said that the greatest disease of the Western World was loneliness. And I believe she was correct.


And when a soul is suffering – when the times are awful – that soul suffers alone. When my little baby died before he was even born, it did not matter who was near me at that time, that grief was so deeply personal that I bore it completely on my own. And I have been reflecting on this because that feeling that I had at the time that I was isolated in that grief is actually not true at all…


You see, when a soul suffers any grief, that soul is crucified with Christ. My soul – while I was and continue to suffer – is nailed (in some way) upon the Cross with the Saviour of the World. And Christ Himself – who was alone and separated from the Blessed Trinity for the one and only time in all existence while He was crucified – was not alone…


While He was crucified, feeling the full loneliness of isolation from Himself in the other Persons of the Most Blessed Trinity, Christ had His mother…

“Standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother, and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother, and the disciple whom he loved standing near, he said to his mother, ‘Woman, behold, your son!’ Then he said to the disciple, ‘Behold, your mother!’ And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.” (John 19:25-27).


And seeing that He was not alone on that hill in Calvary, Christ used the last few breaths in His Immaculate Body to ensure that I would never be alone either…


Seeing that His Holy Mother was standing with Him – witness to His suffering – Christ asked her to stand with me too, and be a witness to mine…


And I have been reflecting on that today, because it seems that even in sorrows and suffering I am more blessed than I could ever imagine…


For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.

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