I am as unskilled at suffering as I am at golf, and for that reason, there is much work left for me to do before I am worthy to face my God…
The other day I was invited to play a game of golf to raise money for charity.
Now – the closest I had ever come to a golf club in my life had been a couple of games of putt putt on a date with my husband where neither of us were taking the game very seriously. And so, I approached the sport with absolutely no skill or appreciation for the rules of the game.
And so it was that bright and early on that morning, I took out one of the slightly battered borrowed golf clubs I was using and grabbed one of the second-hand golf balls I had purchased from the pro-shop, and got myself ready to take my first official swing on the golf course…
And what happened? Well, I swung, and missed the ball. Then I swung again, and missed it again. Then I swung a third time and missed it three out of three. Finally – after a little more coaching from a team-mate and a bit of luck, I managed to actually hit the ball and fling it off into the distance, but only after I wacked a massive crater into the beautiful teeing green and sent a clump of soil out on its way as well…
We played the Ambrose format that day (I really know nothing at all about golf but I am told that format makes the game move very quickly compared with other formats). And – despite using this faster format – we were still sitting on our third hole, one and a half hours into the game.
And not only that, but because of my very rudimentary and raw style, I was becoming quickly convinced that I had begun to cause some damage to my back… And so it was that I began to pray for a way out of this game that still left me with a little dignity. And then – thank God – a colleague of one of the people I was playing with arrived late and was just itching to become involved in the game and I could graciously surrender my place to him! Thank God!
And I have been thinking about that game of golf as I have been thinking about God and my spiritual life.
You see, golf had looked relatively easy to me when I had been watching snippets of the sport on television. And in reality to was so difficult. And the same is true of a saintly life. When we watch the experience of the saints, the experience sees somehow sugar-coated. Saint Faustina died very slowly and painfully without sympathy or understanding or respect of tuberculosis of the intestines, but part of me considers her story and thinks – that suffering was easier for her than mine is today because she was a saint. And this in itself is a fallacy. You see, Saint Faustina BECAME a Saint through her suffering – without it, perhaps she would never have been saved at all.
And just as I hurt my back playing golf, which caused me to quit on the game entirely, so too can I damage my ability to offer sacrifice to God if I do not understand how to approach it. The Venerable Fulton Sheen said, “Much suffering in hospitals is wasted.” And what he meant by that is that just as I caused damage and was unable to play because I did not understand the rules and skills required in a game of golf, so too is suffering wasted when people do not understand how to offer it for the salvation of souls.
And this is the EBENFIT of Purgatory - it is the opportunity to suffer for salvation - to use suffering in a manner that contributes to the salvation of souls - the purification of our own soul...
So, as I consider that game of golf that I played the other day, I also consider my skill in suffering. For it occurs to me that I am as unskilled at suffering as I am at golf, and for that reason, there is much work left for me to do before I am worthy to face my God…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.
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