If we were to focus only on the true merits of our actions we would be doomed to experience despair, which is itself a sin.
I was speaking to someone the other day and they were talking to me about God. And I have been reflecting on that ever since, because the way that they were talking about God and the experience that I have had with God seemed like two very different things.
This person was very fixated on the experience of God as a Being to be feared. Now, this is not something that I take lightly. After all, it was God who created the universe and it is God who decides who will live and who will die. It is God who knows and understands how we shall live and whether we shall suffer. AT the end of my Earthly life, God shall judge me as the Just Judge – and even this is something to be feared…
You see, if I were really judged according to perfect justice, I would be so severely lacking that I would be immediately cast into Hell. After all, true justice in its perfection means that any single sin or stain on my soul – even if I confessed it later – would merit eternal damnation as only the perfect soul could merit Heaven and salvation…
Saint Faustina once wrote about a vision she had of God the Father, the Just Judge, and she wrote that such a vision filled her soul with fear. Understanding that God could judge us based on our actual merits is something so terrible that it inspires in any soul the ultimate fear. For how could one such as I ever try to merit Heaven knowing that I would be judged on what I have said and thought and done?
But equally, Saint Faustina was utterly convinced of the mercy of God the Son, which she preached through the Divine Mercy as the Secretary of God’s Mercy.
And I have been reflecting on that. For Christ told Saint Faustina – and by extension all of us – that if we would not appeal to His mercy through the Divine Mercy then we could only petition Him through His role as the Just Judge.
And I have been thinking about that today. For it seems to me that I have been blessed beyond words to live in this time and this place. When my mother was a little girl, nobody really understood the Divine Mercy. Children were taught that they were evil little things who would never merit Heaven. People were focused on their flaws.
And of course, there is a time and place for such reflection as that. But there is only a small time and place for it. You see, if we were to focus only on the true merits of our actions we would be doomed to experience despair, which is itself a sin. You see, on our own merits we are unable to merit anything at all. And without the Mercy of God I would be focused only on that and be completely unable to understand that if I place my trust in God and throw myself on His Mercy, then I should never experience the emotion of fear – after all, what is there to fear if I love my God? What is there to ever fear?
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.
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