Even though I fear Hell, I simply love God more…
When I was learning about the Ten Commandments at school when I was a little girl, I remember very clearly that my Year Two teacher told us that the point of the Ten Commandments was that we were supposed to keep the commandments – not because we were afraid of going to hell when we died, but because we loved God so much that we chose not to offend Him.
When I was a little girl, I really had no idea how to express that at all. After all, I was so much more afraid of Hell when I was a young child than I am now. When I was little I really did not want to risk any instance of eternal damnation. And – sadly with time and age – I have not grown in wisdom. Instead of knowing that Hell is such a terrible fate that there should be literally anything that I should be doing to avoid that place, I make excuses…
Oh, God is merciful – I will be fine. Of I am weak – God understands. He would not do anything to me because He knows I am weak so there is just no point in trying to do anything differently – so I will be fine. Oh, I will just do that now, and remember to confess that sin in my next confession – whenever that may be – God understands, and it will be fine.
And in all the years since my childhood, I have grown looser and looser in my fear of Hell. Now, it is true that God said, “Do not be afraid” many many many times in the Bible. But whenever He said those words He was referring to people who trusted in Him and who followed Him. He never once said that we should NOT be afraid of Hell. In fact, He warned many times that those who dop not believe would be thrown into a fiery pit and burned for all eternity.
And yet – even knowing and understanding what a thing it is to fear Hell, still I am called to follow God’s commandments out of love for Him…
Saint Francis de Sales wrote at page 20 of “Finding God’s Will for You”, “Many men keep the commandments in the way sick men take medicine: more from fear of dying in damnation than for joy of living according to our Savior’s will. Just as some persons dislike taking medicine, no matter how pleasant it is, simply because it is called medicine, so there are some souls who hold in horror things commanded simply because they are commanded… On the contrary, a loving heart loves the commandments. The more difficult they are, the sweeter and more agreeable it finds them, since this more perfectly pleases the Beloved and gives Him greater honour.”
And today, I pray for the Grace to follow the commandments with love. For even though I fear Hell, I simply love God more…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.
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