All those fears are useful rungs on the ladder to heaven. And each time I conquer a fear by entrusting myself to the Mercy of God, I am able to climb another rung on the ladder.
My second son hates needles. He does not just hate them, but he really really hates them and is terribly afraid of them. The other day he needed surgery and therefore needed to have a needle to have the cannular inserted into his arm so that he could be put to sleep and medication and fluids could be administered to him while he was in surgery and also afterwards.
He really did not want to see that needly or experience it going into his arm. He was more afraid of the needle than he was about the surgery and the recovery that would be involved with it afterwards. And because he was afraid od that needle, he was not being very reasonable when he was being prepared to have it administered. For example, he struggled against the needle and wanted to have surgery without it. And this would have caused him more pain and danger and trouble than the needle itself, but in that moment of fear, he did not care about anything other than that needle upon which he was entirely focussed.
And I have been thinking about that. You see, we spend so much of our lives being afraid. I am afraid of making a mistake or failing. I am afraid that my work will not go well or my children will not be well behaved. I am afraid that my husband might not love me or that my parents will grow old and die. And all of these fears are like that needle before the operation. They are the wrong thing to be focused on.
If I were focused on the right things I would know how to proceed and would be comfortable to trust God to arrange the direction of my life according to His plans. But instead, that fear (like my son’s fear of the needle) becomes the entire centre of my vision and I am unable to make movement in the direction that I am required to make movement in because I am too afraid.
And I have been thinking about that today. Because all those fears are useful rungs on the ladder to heaven. And each time I conquer a fear by entrusting myself to the Mercy of God, I am able to climb another rung on the ladder. And each time I fail to trust in God, I fail to step up to the next rung. And Heaven is very high above all things of the Earth. And that means that I have many, many, many fears to entrust to God before I kneel before Him in eternity.
And I have been thinking about that today. For my life on Earth is going to be one long journey of entrustment to God until – at last – I entrust Him entirely with every single part of myself. For that is the only way to enter into Heaven – through total trust in God and His Goodness…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.
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