When I see a soul who seems to have lived a life of suffering, it occurs to me today, that those are the chosen souls who have been best prepared for that.
When I was thirteen years old, my mother left me at home alone with my younger siblings for the first time during the day while she and my father went out for a very very short time to do some things.
When I was eighteen years old, on the day I earned my provisional driver’s licence, my father asked me to drive him into the city and drop him off at an appointment and drive back to the office and wait for him to finish and then pick him up again afterwards.
In both instances, I was literally terrified. I was afraid that something terrible would happen. And –in the latter case – I was actually afraid that I might actually die on the road…
Since that time, I have driven a car through the city many many times. I have been on my own in a home not only with my younger siblings but with my children, and not only during the day but during the night as well. And each time that this has happened, I have been less and less afraid until at last I am unafraid in these situations at all.
And I have been reflecting on that today.
You see, in both the instance of being left alone at home and in driving alone, my parents sort of gave me a bit of a push, because if they were waiting for me to make a decision about whether I would be able to cope with that, I would have certainly said NO. I would have certainly been too afraid to take the first step. I would have certainly thought of all the possible terrible things that could have happened. But because they gave me a push, I was able to move on and on and on and improve and get better until at last I was not afraid at all of doing the thing that had caused me so much fear.
And it occurs to me today that my Beloved – who is my Father and my Eternal Parent – does the same for me. He sends me small challenges when I think I cannot cope with them. And I handle them well enough and build some stamina. The He sends me larger challenges, once I am handling the smaller ones well-enough. And every time He sends a challenge it seems so terrifying I think I will not withstand it. And every time, He gives me the strength to do what must be done.
And I was thinking about this today because it occurs to me that when I see a soul who seems to have experienced every single kind of grief. When I see a soul who seems to have lived a life of suffering, it occurs to me today, that those are the chosen souls who have been best prepared for that. And through their preparation, although they may feel afraid, God Himself, gives them strength…
And that sort of makes sense today. For the more that we bear, the more the soul CAN bear… And that means something, because it means that FIRST He makes me strong. And THEN he applies the Cross… And knowing that I have nothing to fear…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.
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