Fear

It is the lack of discipline that has led me so many times into sin, fear and despair…

Mother Mary with Jesus Christ (Kartick Dutta)

I was really, really worried about something the other day.  It was not life or death.  But it was a very serious matter and just thinking about it was so distressing to me that I was unable to think about the problem rationally and my emotions kept getting in my own way and this caused the problem to become exacerbated and instead of the problem becoming smaller – in my mind – it only began to become bigger...

Now, I am quite a rational person.  I can usually control myself so long as I can apply logic to a problem at hand.  But sometimes – just sometimes – even I let my rational nature fly to the wind and even I can prove to myself that I am as irrational and emotional as the rest of them.  And on that particular day, I was doing a mighty fine job of showing myself how weak I actually am…

Eventually, the emotions that I was experiencing subsided slightly and as a result of that small reduction in emotion, I was able to once again consider the problem at hand rationally and was able to calm myself.

Now, I have been thinking about this today.  You see, there is great danger in being unable to control oneself.  There is great danger in being unable to ensure that I can approach a problem rationally.  You see, when I cannot control myself, I am unable to make decisions with discipline.  And this makes me think of Christ.  You see, Christ was abused.  Not only during the period of His Passion and Death, but also during the whole entirety of His life.  After all, how easy could it have been for infallible, perfect GOD to be a Child and be reprimanded by any passing adult?  How easy could it have been for GOD to work as a carpenter?  He would have had angry customers and unfair tax collectors.  And He would have remained silent and respectful.  And how easy could it have been for GOD to listen to the persecution of the Pharisees?   And yet He endured this gently.

 

And I have been thinking about this today.  For it seems that the greatest enemy of fear must be discipline.  For a disciplined soul will be able to hold control of their reason and in this way, they will continue to understand that God will protect them and that we have nothing to fear.  And Christ was a disciplined soul.  In fact, He (and the Blessed Virgin) were perfectly disciplined.  And I know this because they were perfectly sinless.

And I have been thinking about that today.  For it seems that there is nothing at all more important than being able to remain disciplined in the face of adversity.  For after all, it is the lack of discipline that has led me so many times into sin, fear and despair…

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.