My God is an awesome God and I truly have nothing to fear…
My father recently had some surgery and as a result of that surgery, he experienced some complications that resulted in his experiencing dizziness when he stood.
This dizziness caused him to become very afraid of falling over, because every time he stood up, the world would spin in front of his eyes and he would experience the sensation of losing his balance. This sensation was so uncomfortable that for a period of time my father could not stand up at all.
Now, thankfully, with time and medication things settled down and my father was indeed able to get walking and moving about and pretty much back to normal with his daily life.
But I have been thinking about that period when my father was afraid. You see, during that time, the most important thing was that my father was trying to balance his fear and his reason. And one of the most important strategies was to discuss what the fear was and how it could be reasonably dealt with.
For example, a fear of falling could be countered in a number of ways. Others could stand beside him when he stood up. He could stand up in stages and keep the bed (or chair) close behind him so that he could fall back into them instead of onto the floor and cause himself further damage and pain. Additionally, the stages of standing could be managed. In this way he could move up from sitting to standing without experiencing a severe amount of discomfort.
And I have been reflecting on this because it reminds me of my fear of God. While it is very important to have a healthy fear of God – in other words, to know that God is infinitely better than me and should be respected and “feared” for His Majesty, there is a part of my soul that is influenced by the Evil One. And it is THIS fear that is wrong. This is not a fear of the Majesty of God – a respect for His infinite power. Instead, this is a fear of God through an assumption that is irrational – an assumption that God will indeed act just like me. And that is where we have a problem.
You see, if God were to act like me He might do things that were unfair or mean or just plain lazy and unloving. But instead, God acts like GOD. And this means that He makes decisions that are INFINITE and PERFECT and in the TOTAL interest of ME and His love for me.
And I have been thinking about that today as I have been thinking about my God. For it seems that I wind myself into knots worrying about things that I have no business considering. And I do this because I judge my Lord and God through my own limited being rather than consider Him from the Majesty of His Own…
And I have been thinking about that as I reflect on fear. For it seems to me today that my God is an awesome God and I truly have nothing to fear…
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.
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