“I didn't think God would get hold of me the way He did, either. But, let me tell you once again, God doesn't ask our permission to complicate our lives. He just gets in: and that's it!” (Saint Josemaría).
I was thinking about the apostles the other day and I must admit that I had a good long laugh to myself. You see, it occurred to me that the apostles were surely the worst fishermen in all the world.
Pretty much every time we hear about them at their work in the Gospel, they have been out all night and have not caught a fish. Nothing. Nothing at all. Empty nets and sad hearts and a great deal of disappointment. Now, these fishermen were not fishing because it was a fun hobby for them. Fishing was the way that they supported themselves and their families. These fishermen fished so that they could put food on the table and buy clothes and travel around. And yet – even though they so desperately needed to fish so that they could survive – it really did not seem to work for them.
And these were pious men – why else would Christ have singed them out to be His disciples? Why else would Christ have called Saint Simon Peter to hold the Keys to the Kingdom? So surely they prayed a lot. Surely they prayed to God a lot about their fishing. Surely their prayers might have looked something like this… “God, please help me to catch some fish today, I need to make sure we have enough to sell so that we can buy flour to make bread.” Or, “Please God, let the sea be calm tonight. I am afraid of drowning and I need to fish.” Or even, “Please God help me. Please God help me. Please God help me.”…
And yet – despite their faith and their piety – these men could not really seem to successfully catch a fish on their own… And I have been thinking about that – because it seemed that no matter how hard they tried, nothing really worked out. And I have been reflecting on what that could possibly mean…
And I have come to realise that it is not complicated at all… You see, the fishing for fish did not work out because the apostles were NOT called to fish for fish – they were called to fish for SOULS. And so, God made sure that the fishing for fish was something that they completed failed at. For it was through this FAILURE that Christ was able to GET IN…
“While the people pressed upon him to hear the word of God, He was standing by the lake of Gennesaret. And He saw two boats by the lake; but the fishermen had gone out of them and were washing their nets. Getting into one of the boats, which was Simon's, He asked him to put out a little from the land. And He sat down and taught the people from the boat. When He had finished speaking, He said to Simon, ‘Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.’ Simon answered, ‘Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because You say so, I will let down the nets.’” (Luke 5:1-5).
And it occurs to me that at the moment of my greatest despair, when I had turned myself completely from God – when I felt that I had failed completely and my life was far too complicated to ever repair, that was when Christ jumped into my boat… And I know that in my feeling in this I am not alone. You see, Saint Josemaría said, “I didn't think God would get hold of me the way He did, either. But, let me tell you once again, God doesn't ask our permission to complicate our lives. He just gets in: and that's it!”
And I have been thinking about that today. Because maybe the next time that I fail it will really be the start of my greatest success? Maybe?
For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.
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