Away

Before I close my eyes for the final time in this world, I shall be giving away every single thing that attaches me to it.

Lance Piercing the Side of Jesus (Fra Angelico)

I have a pain on my right side that will stay with me – probably until the end of my life.  It is certainly much much more manageable today, when compared with the level of pain prior to the surgery that I underwent some years ago.  It is certainly not a pain that causes me to have a reduced quality of life.  However, it is a pain and it is a real pain.

Because I have this pain, certain activities are more difficult.  It is  - for example – more difficult for me to play golf, or to swing a tennis racket than it used to be.  It is – for example – at time, quite painful to laugh out loud or to have a coughing fit because it can cause the pain to flare up a little.

Now, I do not mention this pain in order to attain any sympathy.  I am much much more lucky than most.  I am not diagnosed with a life-threatening illness.  I am physically healthy for the most part, and most people (with perhaps the exception of my children on a particularly challenging day) would agree that I am also mentally healthy.

I am a young and productive member of society and I am very grateful for the opportunity to work in this world and in some way make a difference to some small part of it in my own small way.

However, the fact remains that I have some pain on my right side…

And I have been reflecting on that pain today.  You see, I also have wrinkles on my face that I did not have there twenty years ago.  My skin is less elastic than it used to be.  And though I am not fat, I carry weight differently and my body is not as beautiful and young and unblemished as it used to be.

And I have been thinking about that.  You see, I am older than I used to be.  And it occurs to me today that before I draw my very last breath, I shall give away all the parts of myself that are chained to the earth.  I shall give away my young skin and young body.  I shall give away my mind and my brain.  I shall give away my work and my friends.

For some people these things are given away quickly – ripped away as they draw their last breath. This is the case when supposedly healthy people die suddenly from accidents or strokes, or heart attacks or any number of other things.  It might appear to the outsider to happen in the blink of an eye, but before that person’s eyes close for the final time, they will have surrendered everything to God (either willingly or unwillingly).

For others, these things are given away slowly.  My elderly grandmother has become increasingly frail as time progresses.  Her once sharp mind is wavering as her body becomes completely immobile.  And the Grace for those of us who love her is to witness to her slow surrender to her creator before she is called home to Him.

But whatever happens in this world, one thing is for sure…  Before I close my eyes for the final time in this world, I shall be giving away every single thing that attaches me to it.

And I remember that today, as I feel this little pain on my right side…

For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.