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Writer's pictureSarah Raad

Air

And this movement is understandably painful and difficult after surgery because the body is cut and recovering.

Christ on the Cross and the Good Thief (Titian)

Several years ago now, I had some very extensive abdominal surgery.


The surgery was prolonged and complicated, and though the surgical incisions were small, there were several incisions for the doctors to perform their work…


In order to complete that sort of surgery, effectively using incisions the size of a keyhole, the doctors pumped air into my abdomen (while I was unconscious) so that the skin would puff up like a balloon and they would be able to work on the organs inside my abdomen to perform their surgery.


When they had finished their work, I am told that they then leaned down on my abdomen (while I was still unconscious) to press the extra air that they had pumped into the space out of the small incisions that they had made.


Afterwards, when I woke up, one of the side-effects of this surgery was that there was residual air inside my abdomen.


Now, although it sounds very funny with hindsight to say that a person is “full of hot air”, it is actually a very painful experience for the person who is experiencing it. The additional air creates pressure in the abdomen that radiates to the shoulder blade and causes very sharp pain in the abdomen, back and shoulder.


There is really only one way that this additional air can be expelled from the body after a surgery like that (or so I am told)… And that is by moving around. The more a person walks the more the air becomes absorbed into the bloodstream and the more easily it is passed out of the body.


And this movement is understandably painful and difficult after surgery because the body is cut and recovering.


And this reminds me of penance after sin. When a person sins, it is as though there is air inserted into the abdomen so that a surgery could be performed. And when that happens it means that there is pain and the only way that such pain as that can be reduced is to go through the effort of walking enough to absorb the air into the bloodstream and expel it.

And when I reflect on that it seems that the sin itself seems sort of so easy – a bit like surgery for a patient. When a patient goes in to have surgery they wait in line and are taken care of. Medication is administered and nurses cater to their needs to prepare them. Yes – just as with sin – there are some risks… The surgery could result in complications and additional illnesses or even death (but so too does sin if the soul does not repent before their death). And just like surgery, the real work starts afterwards in the period of recovery. And in that period of recovery – well… That is where all the difficulty really begins.


And as I think about that today, it occurs to me that it should in fact be the recovery I have in mind when I commit the sin… For if I could just remember the discomfort caused by all that extra air, I feel certain that I would just not bother with the sin int eh first place!


For with prayer, I stand on Holy Ground where everything is clear. Here. At the Foot of the Cross.


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